It was a beautiful 33 degree gloom at 6:45 am as the sun started to come over the horizon. Boo Boo and YHC rolled up in my half clown car for the Hamburg inaugural workout on this Holy Saturday, March 31, 2018. As a man it is easy to get too familiar with our situations and routines forgetting what it’s like to step into the unknown AO (Area of Operation). Some might be a little apprehensive about meeting a dozen or more guys in a dark park in a town 30 miles from home. Truth is YHC found a man named Beaker who made a similar journey on August 10, 2017 when he crossed his fears to receive a Spinal Tap from Rock Star on his very first F3 workout. Now over 8 months later Beaker takes another monumental step to serve the men in his community by planting a new AO in Hamburg which will now be referred to as “The Grill”. The PAX at the Bee Hive will miss you Saturday mornings, but all will be smiling knowing you are locking shields with other men to fill a real need in the world. It is my honor to bring your PAX this divinely inspired workout I call “The Stations of the Cross”
Only men over the age of 18 can participate in the workout and accept this disclaimer. I am not a professional, which points to our core principal of being volunteer peer lead. The exercises I suggest are just that suggestions. I am not compelling anyone to do anything. If I suggest something you are not comfortable with, modify as necessary to include even NOT doing the exercise. This is not a pass-fail workout or group. From continuing from this point and going on this workout with us you are accepting the very real risk of injury. Please note we are exercising on public domain and you will be traversing uneven ground, it’s dark, and some spots may be slippery, you could lose footing quickly. Now is the time to either get in your car or state “Aye” affirming acceptance of risk of this workout.
Mosey to the middle of the park. SSH, Abe Vogoda, Monkey Humpers, Merkins, Mountain Climbers, Sungods.
Experienced Pax asked to partner up with Friendly New Guys (FNG’s). Fourteen index cards handed out. Each index card has written on the front of it a #1 through #14 along a significant incident that happen as Jesus carried his cross to Calvary. On the back of each index card is the name of an F3 exercise routine that will help you remember that station of the cross a little better through self inflicted pain and or laughter.
If you are not familiar with the exercise routines below, please refer to the F3 Exicon located at https://f3nation.com/exercises/
Station 1 – Jesus Condemned to Death – Bataan Death March – 1/2 mile. Burpee until the 6.
Station 2 – Jesus Carries His Cross – Partner Carry – 200 yards. Plank Until 6, Flap Jack
Station 3 – Jesus Falls the First Time – Duck Jousting – last man standing
Station 4 – Jesus meets his mother – “Mary” circle up ab exercises. Demo gave us 6 inches to flutter kicks for 2 minutes; followed by Freddie Mercuries.
Station 5 – Simon Cyrene Helps Jesus Carry His Cross – Wheel Barrow as far as you can (200 yards). Plank until 6. Flap Jack
Station 6 – Veronica wipes the face of Jesus. – Little Orphan Annie’s. 5 count each arm, repeat 5 times each arm.
Station 7 – Jesus Falls Second Time – Balls to the Wall – count across 17 and count back 17. Everyone in position count off. It seemed like we missed a couple guys on the way back. Repeat a second time.
About halfway through, Flame took some time to encourage some extra recovery while explaining to the PAX F3 is about way more than a workout. It’s about living 3rd and being a better father, husband, friend, and most importantly for a man of God that makes a difference. This kind of group can only happen if guys get on board with the mission, EH (emotionally headlock) another guy, and everyone continues to show up every week. YHC reminded everyone that they are faster than the guy on the couch and if you think the workout has too many burbes, push-ups, or running there is one way to solve that. Take the Q at the next workout.
Station 8 – Jesus meets women of Jerusalem – Pickle Pushers and Alabama Prom Dates. (No cameras or video please – refer to excicon for explanation)
Station 9 – Jesus falls a 3rd Time – Ascending Testicles into Australian Mountain Climbers
Station 10 – Jesus clothes taken away – AYG sprint like you are naked. used the tennis court, sprint two courts touch end line and return to start line. Repeat 3 times, with recovery plank and merkins until 6.
Station 11 – Jesus nailed to the Cross – get into human cross position on lying belly down in the grass. legs resting on the guy behind you shoulders.
Station 12- Jesus dies on the Cross – on Q’s command push up and hold. repeat 10 times or as many time as possible.
Station 13 – Jesus take down from the Cross – Bearway to Heaven
Station 14 – Jesus laid in tomb – partner up, two lines facing each other, hands out. Guy on end trust falls backwards into arms of guys. Guy is moved backwards on arms of all PAX. Repeat until everyone is buried in the tomb.
NoRama = 7 FNG’s – Hemi, Mr. Clean, Bones, Ringworm, The General, Lyft, and Bow
CoRama = 17
Praising the Lord for this great day and group of guys who have stepped up to better themselves and the guys next to them. Asking God to continue to work in the heart of Beaker and inspire the men of Hamburg to embrace the gift of F3.